


Loving you is easy

by nflove



Series: Ramifications [3]
Category: National Football League RPF
Genre: Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Late Night Conversations, Love, M/M, Super Bowl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 08:13:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18567406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nflove/pseuds/nflove
Summary: Jared goes to Sean's house and they help each other recover.  Both unsure about what their relationship(?) is, but also they have a mutual understanding that it's real now.  Being together feels so natural and Sean knows how to make everything right.





	Loving you is easy

The next week was rough. Jared spent most of it wallowing in the thick suffocating weight of loss. Each night, he’d lie awake, wishing the dull pain in his heart would subside even temporarily. Every morning, he’d wake up unrested, and the loss would come creeping in like a plague. 

Jared had texted some of the guys to see how they were doing. Gurley was having a tough time because he felt he hadn’t been able to bring 100% given his knee issues. Robert Woods was blaming himself for a few drops that could have been touchdowns. Whitworth was totally wrecked, talking about retirement. Jared felt for his team. And yeah, sharing in the struggle made it better in a way, but it still sucked. 

Sometimes, Jared would think of Sean when he was lying awake. He’d picture Sean beside him, talking quietly about an idea, blue eyes glimmering with inspiration, or watching plays on his tablet, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, or even just sleeping peacefully. Jared was in dangerous waters here. They still hadn’t defined what they were to each other, yet it felt like Sean could provide the only imaginable solace. And somehow Jared couldn’t bring himself to text the man whose hand he’d held the whole transcontinental flight back to Los Angeles. Sean was a very forward person. Wouldn’t he contact Jared if he wanted to talk? And he was busy with media appearances, callous reporters all reinforcing the loss.

Jared felt unbelievably isolated. He sat in his house, incredibly aware of the empty space around him. And yet to reach out to Sean seemed needy. Shouldn’t he be able to handle this himself? Losses were part of the game, and you were supposed to bounce back, use it to fuel your fire, make it motivation to come back stronger. It all seemed so hard to actually put into action. Jared felt like he was already falling behind. He hadn’t trained in days. God, what would Sean think of that – there it was, Sean again. 

That Thursday, in the middle of the night, Jared was awoken by the buzzing of his phone. He turned his head and looked, bleary-eyed at the Caller ID: ‘Sean McVay’ running across the screen. Never had he gone faster from fully asleep to fully awake.   
“Hey Sean.”  
“Hey.” Sean’s voice was raspy and strained. “Sorry to call you this la-  
“Nah, you’re good. What’s up?”  
A drained sigh.  
“Sean? You doing okay?”  
“Yeah… well not really. It’s been pretty shitty to be honest.”  
“I feel you.”  
“Listen, would you want to come over? You don’t hav-“  
“Yeah. I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”

Jared’s heart raced as he sped along Lincoln Boulevard. What was he even doing driving 70 miles an hour to see his coach in the night? When he pulled in to the driveway, he saw Sean sitting on the front steps with his head in his hands. Jared got out of his car quietly, feet crunching on gravel as he made his way over. Sean stood up when Jared got close and damn, this loss showed on his face.

Jared pulled him in for a hug. Sean tucked his head into the crook of Jared’s neck. Having him this close simultaneously soothed and flustered Jared’s heart. He wrapped his arms around his coach, holding him tightly to his chest. He felt Sean’s hands on his back moving slowly up and down, radiating warmth and safety. They stood, coach and quarterback, hugging each other under the dark L.A. sky until the automatic houselights turned off.

“Should we go inside?” Jared asked.  
“Yeah”

They made their way to the front door, Jared’s arm still around his coach. Once inside, Sean led them through the entryway to a large grey couch.  
“Thank you …for coming.” Sean said running his finger along a couch cushion.  
“Sean, of course.” Jared replied softly.  
“Yeah, but thank you. I know I haven’t been talking to you, but I wanted you here the whole time. I guess it got to me more than I thought it would, you know.”  
“I know. It’s so freaking awesome and so fucking agonizing to care about something that strongly.” Jared sighed. “That’s what football does to me. And you.”  
Both men were silent for some time, reinterpreting Jared’s comment.  
“I’m not used to this type of knowing people, I guess,” Sean said. “Yeah, I’ve been in relationships or whatever but this is the most I’ve been with someone, you know, mentally. Like…I don’t tell people stuff.”  
They settled into a comfortable silence before making their way to Sean’s bedroom and finally falling into sleep’s embrace.

Jared cracked one eye open and rolled over to see Sean lying awake, looking at him.  
“Geez. I thought you’d keep me waiting all day.” Sean said with a smirk.  
“You’re an ass.”  
“Get over here.” Jared rolled over until he was on top of Sean. He leaned down for a kiss, smiling as their lips met. Jared pulled away and looked smugly at Sean. Sean lifted his head, catching Jared’s lips in his and pulling him back down for more. Sean’s tongue slid along Jared’s teeth, roaming his mouth until they had to break for air. The teasing mood had evaporated leaving behind one of tranquil serenity. Jared pressed a soft kiss to Sean’s neck, eliciting a small sound of affirmation. Jared began pressing kisses on Sean’s chest, trailing slowly down to his stomach. Sean’s hands worked their way over Jared’s toned back, memorizing every inch of his quarterback. Sean inhaled sharply when Jared kissed just above the waistband of his boxers.  
“Feels so good, Jared.”  
Jared’s whole body was electric, seeing Sean like this. He brought his hands to Sean’s hips, holding him tenderly and pressing more kisses to his waistline.  
“Fuck me Jared.” Suddenly, Jared’s whole body went tense, nerves through the roof and a pit forming in his stomach.  
Sean felt it, and let his hands slowly slide off Jared’s back, and fall to the mattress.  
“You okay?” he asked soberly.   
Jared nodded unconvincingly.  
“Wait, do you not want this?”  
“No, I do, for real.” Jared looked away bashfully. “It’s just- fuck, you’re gonna think I’m so stupid –”  
“Hey, chill,” Sean said, gently turning Jared’s face to look at him. “It’s just me.” And it was, ‘just’ the beautiful, intimidatingly brilliant Sean McVay looking up at Jared with devotion and fondness so raw, it cut straight to Jared’s core.  
“Okay, I just, I’ve never done this before. With a guy I mean.” Tears of shame stung at the corner of Jared’s eyes. And tears from his QB were one thing that hit Sean hard.  
“Come here,” he said, pulling Jared’s head onto his chest. He kissed the top of his head. “I’m sorry, that was shitty of me to demand like that.” He ran a hand through Jared’s hair. “I wasn’t thinking about what you’ve done and haven’t done, but really, we don’t have to do anything that’s not good with you. When you’re ready, just tell me. We’ll go slow, it’ll be good, I promise.”  
“Still, I don’t know what I’m doing. I probably suck.”  
“You could be complete trash, and I’d still love you.” …Oh. Both men panicked internally, each fearing each other’s reaction to what had just slipped out of Sean’s mouth.  
Jared lifted his head tentatively to look at Sean. “You love me?”   
“Yeah.” Sean said contently. “More than you know.” And that one filled a heart with fifty-three super bowls of happiness.


End file.
